Abu Dhabi Mon Amour
I. The Septembers of Our Discontent There is a specific, recursive horror to thirty-two years at the Universidad Autónoma de Barcelona (UAB) that the standard human psyche is not naturally evolved to process without a significant degree of emotional calcification. It is a biological fact that, within the university ecosystem, the professor is the only variable that truly changes. Every September, a fresh shipment of eightteen-year-olds arrives, smelling of generic detergent and unearned optimism, and for a fleeting, delusional moment, you believe you are also eighteen. You are not. You are, in fact, a biological clock whose batteries are leaking acid. The realization usually strikes when the honorific “Usted” , that linguistic barrier of respect that doubles as a tombstone, begins to be lobbed at you with increasing frequency. You look in the laboratory mirror and realize the white hairs on your scalp were not there during the previous fiscal year’s grant application cycle. You h...